WHO I AM & WHY I WANT TO HELP YOU:
ONE DAY I’LL BE HAPPY, CONFIDENT, AND FREE.
This is what I kept telling myself for 10 years.
It all began at the age of 16.
The news and humiliation of my boyfriend cheating on me with another girl (that in my eyes was thinner and more beautiful) left me crushed, broken, and with little confidence to move forward as a healthy, happy teen.
From that moment on, I felt insignificant, not worthy of love, and convinced that something must be wrong with me. [Now I know, something was wrong with him.] I spent the next decade trying to make myself into someone else, someone no one would ever cheat on.
I remember my very first eating disordered thought. Sitting on my bed, gazing at a swimsuit magazine, wondering if I can look like the model in it. How can I look like her? I’m sure she is confident, happy, and successful.
I started my first diet right then and there. Little did I know that such a small decision (one diet) could catapult me into a full blown eating disorder.
From restricting and counting every single calorie, weighing myself four times a day, to binge eating uncontrollably and then using laxatives and exercise as means to rid of myself of what I had just done, I stumbled upon a path that was way more destructive than ‘another diet’.
I spent months working with a Registered Dietitian and Psychologist (both whom did not know how to work with people with eating disorders). Left to my own devices, I headed off to college, only to fall back into an eating disorder.
The summer after my Freshman year I found the book Intuitive Eating, knowing that I didn’t want to continue down this path. This is the book that changed my life and catapulted me into wanting to become a dietitian.
I WANTED TO HELP OTHER PEOPLE JUST LIKE ME. I WANTED TO BE THE DIETITIAN I WISH I HAD WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER.
This led me to changing my major to study nutrition. I wanted to know everything there was to know about food and health. I wanted to understand what I had done to my body and I wanted it to heal my relationship with food. But sadly, it didn’t. I become more obsessed with food. Dieting behaviors started to creep back in and “healthy eating” became a new game to me. I still wasn’t confident, happy, or free. I was still looking to heal, fully.
After graduation, I moved to New York City to pursue my dream of becoming a full-time personal trainer and group fitness instructor. Maybe learning everything I can about exercise will heal me. Maybe I just have to work out more in order to change my body, change my relationship to food, and help me to feel confident, happy, and free. Being a personal trainer in NYC was great, except for the fact that I didn’t look like a fitness model. I spent years trying to look like one. I can’t be successful, confident, and happy with this layer of fat over my stomach and these big thighs. How am I supposed to be a fitness and nutrition expert looking like this? Years spent dieting before photo shoots destroyed me. I remember one day, after completing a 7 day slim down before a shoot, I vowed to myself that if this is what it takes to be in this industry, I’m getting out. I came here to heal but I’m struggling more than ever.
THIS ISN’T HEALTH, THIS IS HELL.
Due to the stress I had caused my mind and body, I had an extreme anxiety attack. My relationship had just ended, I started a brand new job, and was renting a room in an apartment that felt more foreign to me than anything ever have. I spent two days crying in my bed, barely able to catch my breath between tears, and unable to hold it together enough to call the people I loved. I was at my rock bottom. Anxious, depressed, exhausted of trying to become someone other than myself.
THIS IS WHERE MY SELF-LOVE JOURNEY TRULY BEGAN.
I started to surround myself with people who made me feel loved and supported, and stopped spending time with those who made me feel like shit and didn’t want anything to do with the person I was becoming. #aintnobodygottimeforthat
I started to exercise in ways that made me happy and energized rather than exercising for weight loss.
I started meditating every night before bed and would look through positive quotes on Pinterest instead of reading fitness and nutrition blogs.
I went to yoga classes on Friday nights instead of going out and drinking too much.
I started figuring out which foods gave me energy and felt good to my body and which ones made me feel bloated and moody.
I started talking to myself in a more compassionate and kind way.
I STARTED BECOMING MY OWN BEST FRIEND.
I became extremely interested in the mind body connection, which led me to taking a 200 hour yoga teacher training course. Yoga and meditation played an integral role in my self-love journey and I wanted to be able to help others who wanted to heal in this way.
I knew there was something I was missing to the healthy happy lifestyle I was creating and my yoga training helped to fill that void for me. Yoga and meditation play a key role in reprogramming the mind, and a reprogram was exactly what I had been searching for the entire time.
A healthy lifestyle is not just about eating well, exercising daily, and drinking enough water. It’s not just about happiness. Or having your dream job. It’s not just about the people you surround yourself with. Or making enough money. It’s not just about yoga.
A healthy happy lifestyle includes ALL of these and more. My entire life I wanted to become whole, and I finally figured out how to do just that. I was healed.
After 13 years of studying nutrition, exercise science, yoga, psychology, and the mind body connection, I have created a lifestyle that is filled with intuition, self-love, a body I enjoy living in, intuitive eating, gentle nutrition, exercise that makes me feel good, and a joyful existence.
I’ve healed my relationship with nutrition, exercise, my body, and am a confident, successful, and happy individual. I no longer diet.
I no longer wonder how many calories I’m eating. I no longer wonder if I’m “eating the right way”. I don’t view foods as good or bad. I don’t eat out of sadness, fear, or loneliness.
I don’t feel bad about eating certain meals or the way I nourish my body. I don’t care about reading fitness or health magazines because I know I am the only person with my own answers.
My intuition and body lead the way. I am unconditionally and unapologetically who I am. I am holistically free.
Working with dozens of clients – I have learned that one incident (one diet, one comment someone said about you, one break up) can shift your entire life. That your childhood plays a part in the food rules you live by and the stories you tell yourself about your weight, the angel and devil thoughts that are ruining your ability to live the lifestyle of your dreams, and the way you think about a healthy lifestyle today.
I’ve learned that you have to let go of the old ways of thinking in order to welcome in the new. That reprogramming your mind takes time, patience, practice, and love.
I AM HERE TO HELP YOU TO FINALLY STOP DIETING.
I am here to help you to find ways to exercise that make YOU feel good.
I am here to help you figure out which foods make you feel awesome, energized, and well. No more dieting. No more body shaming. No more calorie counting. No more strict exercise programs that you quit after the first week. No more restriction. No more struggling with your body.
I know you are sick of dieting and struggling with how you see yourself. I know you have spent hundreds of dollars on personal trainers, weight loss programs, and diet plans only to end up where you are today. I know what it’s like to go on a diet and feel like a failure because you couldn’t stay on it any longer. I know that you feel like you can’t move on with your life until you figure all of this out. I know how discouraged you feel whenever you go shopping for new clothes. I know the struggle.
And due to my extensive knowledge, training, and experience, I can help you find what you’ve been looking for all along: Body Freedom.