What does “Doing Things that Make YOU Feel Good” even mean?
It means you are making decisions about your life based on what FEELS good rather than what SOUNDS good, what you have been TOLD to do, what you are SUPPOSED to do, and could potentially go against what you’ve READ regarding health, marriage, wellness, finances, relationships, sex, education, etc.
So often we get caught up in what we have heard/read/pinned/watched on YouTube that we can’t even hear our own voice anymore, our own intuitive nature, our own heart. At that point, we aren’t truly living our own authentic lives, instead, we are trapped in someone else’s trajectory.
We fall prisoner to food rules, exercise guidelines/programs, diets, the pursuit of weight loss,
and we end up
shitting “shoulding” all over ourselves.
This leads us to feeling HORRIBLE about ourselves because what we are essentially doing at that point is depriving ourselves of the LIFE we actually want to lead. We aren’t craving weight loss or a diet plan, we are craving the LIFE we want to live. That’s why I take my clients back to their heart, their intuition, their voice. I take them back to who they are at their core, underneath all of those layers of their past, guilt, shame, shoulds, and should nots. This is the same thing I did with myself years ago and what I continually do even to this day (because as you know, it’s a life-long journey).
One way to get back to being your intuitive self (because you were born intuitive) is to work on listening to your heart and body (simply observing without judgment), reconnecting with it through mindfulness based activities (becoming your heart, soul, and body’s ally), and asking it questions (getting curious instead of inviting in the “shoulds” and “should nots”) rather than telling it what to do.
This is a process. There is no exact result that you will stumble upon. There is no set timeline. There is no set prescription for how this will go. It’s a risk to take this journey and I get that. Often times, it’s the risk that takes most of us away from doing the work. It’s too risky to go back inside my body. To feel the damage. To feel the brokenness inside. To feel the emptiness. It’s too risky to stop tracking every morsel of food into MyFitnessPal. What if I gain weight? What happens if I don’t ‘lose the weight’? What happens if I actually have to accept the body I live in? Also, it’s too risky to find out what I actually enjoy doing for movement because what if I find out that what I’ve been forcing myself to do isn’t what I actually enjoy doing?
It’s too risky to be myself because I’m scared that I won’t be wanted if I am just me.
Here’s where you have a choice. Imagine you are at a fork in the road.
If you turn left, you will head down a path of fighting yourself for the rest of your life with every meal, every new diet book that gets released, every time you get into workout clothes, every holiday, every time you take your clothes off, take a shower, see yourself in the mirror, go shopping, spend money, have a job offer, and whenever your significant other touches your belly/thighs/butt/hips.
If you turn RIGHT, you will head down a path of self-discovery where you decide to allow your heart, intuition, and body to be your best friends to skip down the road with, to help you make loving decisions for yourself, in all areas of your life. If you turn RIGHT, you will be flowing for the rest of your life and not fighting with yourself. If you turn RIGHT, you will be on the path to self-care, happiness, love, respect, and kindness. Oh, and actually enjoying and being an active member of your life.
Both roads will have their own set of risks but one thing is for sure:
Where the two roads end up are drastically different.
When you do things that make YOU feel good you are choosing to take a right hand turn on a moment to moment basis. You see the fork in the road and you know within your heart that the best choice to make is the one that your intuition is asking for, even if that means it is a chocolate chip cookie instead of a bowl of fruit. Even if that means dancing by yourself in the middle of your living room instead of doing that workout that you may have forced yourself to do. Even if that means saying “No” and disappointing other people so that you don’t keep disappointing yourself. Even if that means doing something that someone could potentially make fun of you about/judge you for.
When you choose the path on the right, you end up caring less about what anyone really thinks about you because YOU know what you think about you and that will be enough. Your heart will feel comfortable and safe. Your body will be trusthworthy and worthy of care and love. Your intuition will be the guiding light that does you no harm and you’ll trust it far more than anything a book can tell you.
At that point, you’ve become your own expert and you’ll know you are enough.
And P.S. This week I launched a new podcast episode with amazing Jen Porto about her struggle with Binge Eating Disorder, going from Vegan Endurance Athlete to Omnivorous Crossfitter, and how to handle Thanksgiving in a relaxed way.